Five Emotions Invented By The Internet

  1. A vague and gnawing pang of anxiety centered around an IM window that has lulled.
  2. A sudden and irrational rage in response to reading an ‘@-reply’ on Twitter.
  3. The state of being ‘installed’ at a computer or laptop for an extended period of time without purpose, characterized by a blurry, formless anxiety undercut with something hard like desperation.
  4. The car collision of appetite and discomfort one feels simultaneously when using the internet to seek and consume images or information that may be considered unseemly or inappropriate.
  5. The sense of fatigue and disconnect one experiences after emitting a massive stream of content only to hit some kind of ‘wall’ and forget and/or abandon the entire thing.

This feels accurate, although sudden and irrational rage in response to reading something doesn’t just happen on Twitter.

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